Christ’s love for me is overwhelming. No matter how guilty, dirty, wrong, or lost I am, He longs for me more than any human has, could, or ever will. He calls me to show that tremendous love for His children every day. No matter how guilty, dirty, wrong, or lost I think they are, I still have to show them Christ’s awesome love and grace and mercy. Every day I find myself struggling to do this. It’s hard to love someone unconditionally when they make fun of your convictions. It’s hard to love someone unconditionally when they cuss like sailors and talk about filth. It’s hard to love someone unconditionally when there is no one else in the room that would back you up. I think about the difficulties I have in this area and am quickly reminded by Abba Father that I make it hard for Christ to love me, and that if He can love me through all my grime, I could certainly dismount my high horse and love with a passion. My savior loves me even after I go back on my word. He loves me when my mind slips and thoughts creep in that should have no place in my being. He loves me when I focus on the human loneliness I feel instead of His great embrace of my heart. He loves me. He loves me more than any other creature He ever made! The genius and brilliance of nature, to Him, pales in comparison to me. He finds me beautiful and lovely and breathtaking. He wants nothing more than my all, and now that I’ve dug deeper than the earth’s core, I am ready to give Him His belongings back. And nothing in this dazzling universe will ever bring me more pleasure than the reunion I have every morning, noon, and night with my Creator. I feel as though I do not have enough in me to give Him. There is not enough room in my heart for all the passion and praise and love and simple awe that I have for Him. My God, my Lord, my Savior! I love Him and thank Him for His forgiveness; His unfailing forgiveness.
Now that I’ve gotten 1/100000 of what I feel about my God out, it’s on to a much less important topic. I want to share the top 10 things I’ve learned about life in the past month and a half of school, work, and church.
1. God will answer your prayer always and it’s always in the coolest of ways.
2. No matter how old you are or how much you’ve seen in life, someone or something will always out-do what you thought was the top.
3. Silence is not golden. It’s platinum.
4. Music is tied to so many things in my life that not a song in the world could play without having some sort of emotional effect on me.
5. Encouragement is so refreshing and invigorating.
6. My surroundings play a bigger role in my emotions than I previously thought.
7. Working out and eating right effects my spiritual life.
8. Getting over someone cannot be done by my own strength.
9. Loving someone is more rewarding than being loved.
10. God’s will for my life is not scary, but rather safe.
My mind has never been so stimulated in all my life. I am learning things about my future profession, my life, relationships, and the ways of a broken world. My heart has never been so burdened in all my life. To see the emptiness in the eyes of my acquaintances is a dagger in my side. I am stricken with physical pain daily because I just want to hold these girls and save them. I want them to realize what peace and joy and love awaits them. The weight of their salvation is so heavy I can barely breathe. I ache to scream at the top of my lungs that there is something so perfect and beautiful desiring them more than anyone could ever describe.
